Collide
by Cactuslilies
Summary: The story happened two years after the last scene of Gail and Holly in season 5. They both finally moved on or may be not. English is not my first language, I apologize for grammatical error. The last time I wrote a story was years ago. I am not yet sure
1. Chapter 1

The story happened two years after the last scene of Gail and Holly in season 5.

They both finally moved on or maybe not.

English is not my first language, I apologize for grammatical error. The last time I wrote a story was years ago.

I am not yet sure where the story is heading. I appreciate your feedback, comments, and suggestions on anything.

Disclaimer: Anything necessary.

Chapter 1 : That Gut Feeling

"Mom! Mom! Wake up!"

You slowly open your eyes one at a time. You try not to let out a groan for an early wakeup call from your daughter. You were up all night finishing reports after a high profile murder case.

"Science Fair mom! Remember?!" Sophie sounds a bit worried that you might have forgotten your promise.

"Good morning to you to monkey. How can I forget when you make sure to write me a reminder everywhere." You kissed your daughter's forehead and put on a robe. "Come! Let's make you some breakfast and me with lots of coffee." This is going to be a long day.

It's almost night time when you finally convinced Sophie to head home. You had dinner at her favorite diner. Dinner was all about listening to your daughter talked about all the awesome science stuff she had seen. Some of it you just could not understand. Finally, your daughter is becoming the happy kid that you saw from her old photos before the accident.

Your home at last, you're carrying a sleeping Sophie to her room when your daughter asked you if you can sleep in your room tonight. You're puzzled by the sudden request but you agreed, taking a mental note to ask her about it later.

After a quick soothing bath, you immediately fall asleep, tired but happy. Happiness is something that you are still getting used to.

Morning came too soon. You woke up without Sophie by your side. You heard laughter from downstairs. It's your off and you just want to sleep until Monday but you are a mom now of an 11 year old girl and sometimes sleeping is not an option. But for some reason, there is an aching feeling of wanting to stay in bed the whole day. Getting up seems like a battle.

As soon as you opened the bedroom door you breathe in the smell of a delicious coffee.

You saw Sophie stock in her usual Sunday morning TV routine.

"You're alive!" Your eyes went to the direction of the brunette who wears a teasing smile but you got distracted after seeing the coffee she is carrying.

"I'm in auto pilot. A kiss in exchange for your coffee?"

"Kiss. Dinner tonight and you have a deal." She raised the coffee just right so you can smell the inviting aroma.

"Hmmmm…" as if you're thinking. "Well played". You gave her a teasing kiss and reached for the coffee, not minding that it's still hot.

It has been three years since the ass pinching. As much as you hate to admit it, at first you needed her to forget about a certain Doctor who left for her dreams. You simply not part of whatever dream that maybe.

With Anna the attraction the attraction turned into like, like turned to case until you have grown to love her. The most important thing is Sophie likes her, well you never heard your daughter say otherwise. And you haven't or rather did not attempt to ask. Your daughter is still adjusting, that is what you keep telling to yourself.

"Where did you just went?" beautiful kind brown eyes is looking at you, somewhat worried.

"I was just imagining what you might be wearing tonight." You pride yourself for quick thinking, thanks to your years of training.

"I will let you pass for now." She kissed you and went to seat with Sophie as you eat your brunch.

Dinner is amazing. Apart from the part that you ALMOST forgot AGAIN for ALMOST the second time that it's you anniversary, the night is perfect. Luckily you put a second reminder to your phone. A quick call, and yes, as much as you hate it, desperate time calls for desperate measures. Your last name got you a dinner for two to one of the best restaurant in town.

Your about to finish the raspberry layer cake that you both ordered for dessert when you noticed that Anna has been silent for way longer than she's used to.

"Hey, care to share?" You asked as you hold her hand.

She smiled and look at you hesitantly, "I was just thinking… we've been together for two years now and I think it's about time to talk about our future. I mean, I am not saying we get married. I don't! I mean, I want to. Not now, but someday…"

You squeeze her hand gently, "Hey breathe… tell me."

The brunette closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

While you're waiting for your girlfriend to collect herself, you notice a familiar figure of a woman standing outside of the restaurant window. As you direct your focus outside, no one was there. You clenched your other fist under the table because until now whenever this happen your heart still skips a beat.

You want to be free from the memory of the Doctor. So you did what you usually do, act on impulse. "Move in with me." Those words went out so fast that it didn't even touch your brain. And you want to kick yourself for being stupid.

And the universe is about to kick you even harder. Because the _cause_ just walked in to the restaurant to turn your world upside down before you even finish dessert.


	2. Chapter 2: You're a Doctor

Chapter 2: You're a Doctor

I am not entirely sure about this chapter.

I appreciate your comments, feedback, and violent reaction

I want Holly to be reminded of what is really important.

Holly's POV

It's Saturday evening and you are at the morgue. You're supposed to be at the comfort of your queen size bed. Reading one of the medical books you have recently purchased. Sounds boring but you prefer that over another blind date from one of your friends or colleagues and besides you have been working almost nonstop for the past few weeks. Okay, for the past two years. This is your dream the reason why you left everything behind and move to San Francisco. You miss your family, you get to talk to them as much as you can but still. You miss home.

You're a Doctor. A Scientist and a damn good one. Over the years you've grown accustomed to loneliness. Maybe because you are wired to assess everything based on facts and logic not feelings. Every ones and awhile you forget facts and throw away any logic. It was two years ago, when you met a certain blonde.

"Don't go there Holly." You tell yourself out loud.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me at short notice."

Startled, you quickly look at the owner of the voice. Immediately you notice the sadness behind his piercing blue eyes. It reminds of someone you've been trying to forget.

"Sorry if I startled you. I know you don't have to be here. This is the only time I can see her and to say good bye for the last time." Every word is full of sadness and you noticed a hint of regret. You know he is not the husband of the woman you processed few days ago because you saw him. This guy looks more like a grieving husband.

You dare not asked your boss when he called you for this favor a few hours ago. All you know is, this is off the record.

"It's okay. I have nowhere to go and nothing to do." You bite your tongue to prevent yourself from saying any more nonsense.

He nod and walk towards the woman whom you carefully lay for him to see when you arrived. It was ruled out as suicide.

"Have you ever been in love Doctor?" He asked without looking at you.

"I… uhm.." You searched for words.

"We met when we we're both young. She is an amazing woman who wants to live life." His eyes brighten remembering the past. "I was a funny looking kid with big dreams. We we're an odd couple. She made us tick. But I wanted more." Hi is trying not to cry but failed.

"It's always you Laurel, always and forever." Hi is almost on his knees, crying. You see him whisper to her ear and kissed her forehead. "I never felt lonely before because I knew I will eventually see you. What am I going to do now Laurel?"

You realized he already left more than a few minutes ago when you decided to go home and have a drink or ten.

The morning after, you walk-up with a headache and you just want to hide from the world. Remembering what happened last night you start seeing flashes of memory of a certain blonde cop. Her smile, her laugh, and the way she looks at you. Her soft skin. The taste of her lips. You begin to feel dizzy, your heart is beating fast and you can't breathe.

"I made a mistake!" you screamed out loud. You cried your heart out. You did not cry when you said goodbye to Gail. When you decided to end your _"sort of"_ relationship. When you said NO, to long distance relationship because statically speaking it doesn't work. It is simply prolonging the inevitable break-up.

Your tears are long overdue.

You have been crying on and off for a few hours now when you decided to call Lisa. The most logical ass you know.

Luckily she answered on the third ring. "Welcome back to the land of the living!" She must have sensed there is something wrong as the tone of your friend's voice changed to worry, "Holly? What happened Hols?"

You breathe in to your nose and let out a sigh. You told her happened to the morgue. You made a mistake leaving Toronto. And that you need her to tell you that you did the right thing in accepting the job that you have been dreaming of. You deserve this because you worked hard for it. That what you feel will soon pass. But you didn't talk about Gail. You DON'T know HOW to talk about Gail.

"Holly, you told me almost everything except for the real reason why you want to come home. Now man-up or stay there and let's try this again after a few months." You can count on your friend to call your bull. "Do you love her?"

"Y-yes…" You could kick yourself for sounding uncertain.

Unconvinced, Lisa asked, "Let's try that again Holly. Do. You. Love. Her?" Emphasize on every word.

"Yes! I love her Lisa. I am in love with Gail. I miss her so much, sometimes It feels like my heart is breaking, If that is even possible." Tears once again started to fall.

"I am not really good in giving relationship advice. I am not even qualified! One thing I do know is, we only have this lifetime to live. It is best to live it without regrets Holly."

"Tell me what to do Lisa. I don't know what to do." You sound small and weak.

"Hols, you've made your choice before you even dial this number. And I didn't peg you for being a coward."

"Lisa!" You tried to sound annoyed.

"You're welcome!" You heard your friend laugh at the other end of the line. "Holly, if you tell this to anyone I will deny I will deny that this conversation ever happened. I have a reputation to uphold. Have to go, I have boobs waiting for me."

Before you had a chance to comment, you heard the line drop.

You're a Doctor who always goes by facts and logic.

You love Gail, you know now that is a fact. Therefore it is only logical to want to be with her, to be near her and hopefully call her yours once again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: You

Thank you, Dareu12.

This chapter started as Holly's POV alone but I always wonder what it feels like for the other person given the same situation.

I have changed this chapter one too many and I am just happy to even finish it after a fun weekend getaway that turned into a car accident. Everyone is safe, thank God.

Thank you for all your reviews. I appreciate it. Feel free to comment, good or bad; I won't look at it as bad anyways. I am not following any rule in terms of writing if there is any. I did not take any lessons, so if you have suggestions let me know.

Gail's point of view is _italicized_

* * *

You can feel your hands starting to sweat. Your stomach is doing more summersaults than an Olympic gymnast. Your heart is pounding so loud that your whole body can feel the vibrations; your knees start to become weak, you have to hold on to something to sturdy yourself or you might fall.

You didn't notice her at first but your eyes have a mind of their own. You saw her laughing, her hair is longer now and the color has changed to light golden blonde. She is still as beautiful as the last time you saw her.

 _As you sit at your table minding your own business you spot her, you couldn't be seeing Holly; it's your mind playing tricks on you again, like a dozen times before. So you divert your attention back to your date, your girlfriend of two years whom you should be thinking about and not some Doctor from your past._

She looked away acting as if she didn't see or recognized you, damn that hurts. What did you expect, a Welcome Home banner! Luckily as a doctor you are trained to show just enough outward emotion. That is why you are certain that the disappointment you feel did not show.

You felt a hand tap your shoulder which brings you back to reality. Suddenly you remember you are here to meet a friend who greeted you with a warm smile. His lips are moving but you can't hear any of the words such as wife, table, and I am happy to see you. The rest is a blur because all you can see and think about is Gail. He is guiding you towards where Gail's table is, suddenly you feel like your entire body is on fire, you might pass out. As you get closer to the table you want to shrink down or let the earth simply swallow you whole. You couldn't breathe and your eyes are watering. You think, "Just great, this is going to be a difficult night out."

 _The woman who has haunted your dreams is walking towards your direction with some guy. You can hear your girlfriend murmur something that you can't quite hear because you are not entirely listening._

 _Your heart starts to beat fast and all the noise in the place is quieted including your girlfriend and all you can focus on is her, Holly Stewart in all her glory. As soon as the woman crossed your peripheral vision, your blood pressure has risen. You can feel the heat rise from neck up to your cheeks. Your mind is shouting Holly's name and you refuse to acknowledge._

 _Thank God your mom will never know about this or you will never hear the end of how once again you have disappointed her. Being cognizant is part of your training, even before you started in the Academy. Be aware of your surroundings at all times._

 _As she walked passed your table, you let out a soft sigh and involuntarily whispered the name that hunts you, "Holly" in between breaths._

You must have blacked out because the next thing you know, you are seated right behind Gail, you are so close to Gail that you can hear their conversation. You don't want to eavesdrop, you hate it, but you can't help but overhear them! What else could you do your whole body switched into what you like to call "Gail Mode".

" _You were saying something, sweetheart?" Anna asked._

 _You just shake your head and give her the sweetest smile you could muster up and then it comes out like word vomit, "move in with me". It did not come out as a question, more a blatant statement; my therapist is going to have a field day with this one._

" _Oh, honey! Are you sure?"_

" _I have been thinking about it for quite some time now." Great job Gail, you tell yourself, less than 5 minutes after seeing Holly and you start to lose it. Asking your girlfriend to play house with you was not a lie; you just haven't really given it much thought._

Fuck! Did you just hear the core of the earth cracked? While saying hello to your friend Dan and his wife Stella, you signaled the waitress to take your order. "Scotch on the rocks, make it double please, and keep them coming." You ordered in one breathe. "Whoa! Thirsty there Hols?" Dan joked.

"Just trying to calm my nerves, the memory of our last sweet encounter still lingers in my head." You realized that these words were meant for the woman behind you, however your last encounter with the blonde was not even close to nice or borderline civil.

Dan was laughing at the memory and shares the story with his wife. Apparently Gail must be eavesdropping as well because you heard her almost choke on what she was drinking. It's that or you want so much to believe that she is also stricken from seeing you. Even just a little, even if it means in a not so good way, you will take it. You will take whatever the blonde can give you at this point.

 _You overheard what Holly just said and you hated yourself for feeling affected by something that is not even directed at you that you almost choked on the wine you're drinking._

" _That hurts". You know what it sounds like but definitely not a response to Holly. You can't possibly look even more like a child in front of your girlfriend who just handed you a tissue._

" _Oh you are such a baby sometimes!" Anna teases Gail._

" _Only to you", Gail respond in a low husky voice._

"Seriously?!" you thought out loud. You let out a nervous laugh. Way to go to look weird in front of your friends you haven't seen in years.

What else could possibly happen at this point?

 _You can't let this situation continue. Your girlfriend does not have any idea what is going on and she doesn't deserve this. She's looking at you with those loving brown eyes even if sometimes you forget a lot about things. She helped you take care of Sophie before and even more after the adoption. It's because of her help that you became Sophie's mom._

 _Holly is the past and Anna, hopefully is your future. What you're feeling right now for the Doctor is just an aftershock of what it was and the right now is sitting right in front of you._

 _So you hold your girlfriend's hand with both of yours and kiss it slow and soft. You look straight into her eyes and said, "I love you"._

"I love you also" you hear.

You feel like everything stopped moving around you and time seemed to slow down; like the world was going haywire and you were left stunned, unmoving and numb. Is this how it feels to know that the world is about to end? You felt defeated, when you haven't even started fighting yet.

 _After a few more minutes you called for the waiter and paid your bill. You guide your girlfriend out of the restaurant, and you keep telling yourself not to look back at Holly but as soon as you pass by the mirror, your head turns to look at her one last time. You saw Holly looking back at you wearing a smile on her beautiful face, but all you can see is sadness._

 _You feel your insides twist, your body aches, you're about to lose yourself from your own thoughts; When soft lips touches yours which instantaneously bring you back to reality._

 _You look at Anna, your girlfriend. Almost out of breath from excitement of your "move in with me" invitation. You know you're happy, you are. You know you love her, damn it you will not say that if you don't feel it. You may not feel the same burn, the same passion that you felt a few years back. You tell yourself its normal. It's a process, it will come eventually. Relationships are not made entirely with love, at least that's what you think and learned._

Your eyes meet Gail's icy blue ones and you can't do anything but watch her leave. No longer able to hold your tears back, you excused yourself to go to the washroom. It felt like someone just ripped your heart open. The pain feels so real that you think you might be dying. You feel sick and vomit a few times. You must have been there far too long when you hear Stella calling. "Holly? Are you okay in there?" She sound worried.

"Yeah, sorry, just a few more minutes".

"Do you need anything?" She asked.

"No, thank you". I just want to be alone right now, to collect my broken pieces. "I will be there in a few."

You breathe in heavily, praying for the courage to walk back out there. You don't remember praying before but some higher power might be listening. You convince yourself that the universe is more than just faith but a being. That someone is actually listening.

Tonight you will smile, make jokes and laugh with your friends. You will cry yourself to sleep tonight, to hopefully wash away the pain of knowing that the woman you love is in love, but not with you.

Tomorrow you will pull yourself up and fight. This time you will do it for yourself, no longer wanting to prove yourself to anyone but Gail. You're Gail!

* * *

Note:

1\. I still don't have any idea where this is heading but I will finish this story that I know.

2\. I will try to update as often as I can. I have too many ideas and thoughts about this and it's a puzzle I am still trying to put together.


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you for taking time to leave a quick review. I appreciate it. It's inspiring.

Debby… Thank you.

I apologize for the mistakes/ grammatical error. Help! :(

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Chapter 4: New Beginning

It's been two weeks running three since your restaurant encounter with Gail. The woman knows what to do if she doesn't want to be seen. You are back as Forensic Pathologist for 15D about a week now, a little below your previous pay grade but that is not the reason why you are here. You have worked long hours with little sleep, hoping one of those days Gail will come by to the lab or at the morgue. You even went as far as offering bribes to a few colleagues to give you the cases that Gail handle, but still nothing, even the shadow of the woman that your heart is craving.

You arrived at your apartment a little after ten in the evening. After re-heating a few slice of left over pizza you went straight to your room. You allowed yourself to indulge in a hot bubble bath, good music, and one or three glass of wine; you felt your body relax, your mind at ease. Peace at last. You love being a forensic pathologist but sometimes it can be too much. As soon as you lay in bed you immediately fall into a deep sleep, until you are awakened by loud knocking on the door; you searched for your glasses annoyed to be awakened at two in the morning seeing the time on your night stand clock.

Still half asleep you almost jump out of bed when the knocks became louder. Whoever it is on the other side of the door is planning on waking the entire building.

"Okay! Hold on!" You yell to release the frustration you feel. You are not on call today so whoever it is outside will pay. "What?!" door is now wide open. Your facial expression changed to a mix of surprise and confusion.

You see Gail standing at your doorstep the woman you have been missing for the past two weeks and forever is here, eyes wondering everywhere but you. You felt chill all over and that is when you realized you are only wearing a cami and boy shorts. You noticed pale skin turned red, it's not a good decision but you took advantage of the moment and smile coyly knowing that once you remember Gail said this look is one of her most favorite thing. You know that she knows you know she remember. You rather see her in a different circumstance but, hey, can't complain.

"What brings you knocking at my doorstep at this hour Detective?"

Gail finally looked at you with a serious gaze. "We need you at the crime scene. Superintendent specifically asked for you and I was summoned to fetch you because Duncan here…" Gail gave the drooling officer a wrathful stare which made him look down. "…is scared of the Doctor who made threats of dissecting him alive and scatter his unrecognizable parts all over Canada if you see him within a radius of your turf." She is now looking at you with a proud smile.

"He deserves it." You dead pan.

"Now as much as everybody would love to see you wearing that, it's not appropriate at the crime scene. Go change and we will wait for you downstairs." The last part sounds more like an order than a request. Without waiting for an answer Gail started walking towards the elevator.

"Really? Everybody?" You bite your lips at the sight of the blonde from behind. Gail is still breathtakingly sexy. You unknowingly lick your lips feeling your mouth go dry. Quickly you close the door when you noticed that Duncan or Gerald was still standing in front of you with a questioning look.

The elevator opened and your minion quickly followed.

Duncan is quite and you were left with your own thoughts. Holly's apartment is only at the third floor but the ride down seems forever as thoughts about Holly; her lips, smile and kisses comes like a tide the moment the elevator door closes. You couldn't stop, for the life of you. Overwhelmed you felt like having a panic attack. You are over her and you're with someone now. You are done missing her wit, her warmth, her lopsided smile that you know too well and only meant for you… "Damn it Gail, stop it." You see Duncan looking at you with weird expression on his face.

"What!?" You snapped.

"What do you want me to do Gail?" sounding terrified.

"Oh, you'll know. When that day comes the only thing I want to hear from you is 'Yes I will and yes I can', got it?!" You used your cop voice, the one that never fails to make a guilty man shivers.

"Got it. I'm gonna go seat at the back." Duncan said in a hurry. This is the Gail you never want to mess up with. Run and hide, just make sure not to get in her way. Last time she was like this is when the adoption process was put on hold.

As soon as Duncan left you took your phone out and send a quick message to Traci.

D. Awesome: Will be on our way. Happy now?

T. Nash: Ecstatic :)

You then sat in silence at the driver's seat, hoping for the case to be over soon.

Minutes after you are on your way to the crime scene, the silence is deafening and nobody made an attempt to start a conversation or even open the radio for some music to divert the awkward silence.

"Sorry for waking you up at this hour, Traci tried calling and since you were not answering we had to come and get you." Gail said without removing her eyes on the road.

That is the only time Holly remember to check your phone. Seven missed calls and a text from Traci. "I did not expect to be called so I switch the phone to silent." You answered without looking at Gail.

"Yeah we figured. Given your credentials the Superintendent is right to put you on this case."

Holly did not answer, not knowing how to respond. Might as well focus on the task at hand and the feeling of being this close to Gail; having to breathe the same air is soothing you.

After collecting samples and photos on the crime scene you left a few hours later and went straight to the lab to get it processed and analyzed before the body arrives.

You have been working since you arrive at the scene of the crime, stopped just to fill up some files and grab a few bite to eat. Feeling uneasy you have checked and re-check the body, you are missing something and you just can't figure out what it is.

It's almost midnight when you finished; you must have dozed off at your office when you were heard a soft knock on the door.

"Doctor?" You heard a woman called. "Doctor Stewart."

You don't want to wake up, feeling exhausted, you just want to sleep. Few more minutes you smelled a familiar aroma of your favorite coffee. "If that is what I think it is, your life has been spared". You put on your glasses and were surprise to see the woman in front of you.

"I could arrest you for threatening a Detective. Now drink before it gets cold". Gail handed the coffee then seats on the couch.

You watch Holly drink here coffee in silence. Giving her time to allow the caffeine to get into her system and this gave you a chance to look at the brunette without being weird. She looks worn out, you also notice gray circles under her eyes, and you also notice the slight curve of her lips every time she takes a long sip of the coffee you knew she liked. You give yourself a shake to bring you back to reality.

"Thank you. It's just what I need." Holly said with a smile. "Okay, what do you need?"

"What do we got?" without taking your eyes off the Doctor.

"Aside from the information that I handed over to one of your officer, based on the autopsy she is most likely still alive when her body was burned from neck down. There is no sign of struggle probably because of the drugs induced prior to burning."

Gail felt sick hearing this, "she watched herself burned to death." You blur out in anger. "Do we have information on the drug that was used?"

"No. Not yet but we should have the result later this morning." Holly took another sip of her coffee holding it both hands.

"The asshole must have a terrible grudge to do this to her."

"Did you found any similar M.O. on your database?" Holly stood up, remove her lab coat and place it on the table.

"Not within the past six months, we have little to work on from what we have. The victim moved here from the US five years ago for a job offer from a private firm. The investigation will resume later, so you, needs to go home and rest like the rest of us humans." You were ready to walk towards the door when you hear your stomach growl and Holly's.

You both looked at each other a little embarrassed then laugh. "You want to grab a bite?" both said in unison.

Gail grabs her jacket and started walking, "Are you just going to stand there? Hurry up, you're buying."

Holly shakes her head and smile, _that is the Gail I know_ , you thought.

Gail took you to a hamburger restaurant just three blocks away from your apartment.

The cop ordered a double decker burger, large fries and frappes to match and you a chicken sandwich and frappes because the blonde insists on you having a taste of heaven on earth. The waitress took extra time on taking the brunettes order, offering other variety of burger and drinks while saying jokes on the sides. Gail silently watches the brief exchange of banter.

"The waitress is definitely flirting with you".

"Wait, what?!" Holly asked in confusion.

"Hot waitress who just left with a smile so wide that almost breaks her face." Gail said in one breathe.

"I think she is just being friendly and besides there is a study I read that if you serve with a smile you most likely…"

"Nope. Don't start with that. Not until my food is served and these babies are full." Cutting Holly and pointing to her stomach.

Holly raised both hands in surrender, just in time for the waitress to return with their order.

They ate in silence only for a few minutes when Holly took a few fries from Gail's plate earning her a failed attempt of scowl expression from the cop.

"You are lucky I have changed." Moving the plate in the middle of the table.

"I noticed." Holly said while taking another fries and dipping it to her frappes. "Yum!"

"So, why did you come back?" The blonde is trying not to sound too inquisitive.

You try to gauge your choice of words and think of what you are about to say to Gail. _Keep it light_ , you tell yourself _or you might scare her_. "Home is where the heart is."

"Way to go on quoting Pliny. I bet they got tired of your Hollyness". Gail laughs at her own joke.

"Oh, you changed all right. That was a corny joke by the way."

"Ha! Ha! You've broken someone's heart in San Fran?" Gail said with a bite.

"There is no one after you." Ooops!

Gail did not remove her eyes to Holly who's now starting to fidget. If the cop was shocked of hearing this it doesn't show. "I'm that awesome huh!"

The Doctor then looks at you straight in the eyes, as if she is trying to reach into your soul; to your heart. Brown eyes meet blue; you stayed like this for a moment. You feel like all your questions about the past after Holly left has finally been answered; forgiven; forgotten. You have finally forgiven yourself and understand this wonderful brunette who made you realize you can truly love and be loved.

The next thing you saw is fries flying straight to your face.

"You're still an ass!" Holly is laughing so hard that she has tears in her eyes.

You feel your heart skip a beat. This Doctor still never fails to amaze you. Just when you thought you know her she would do something like this. "You know you will pay for this right? And I am not just referring to this meal."

"Bring it on Peck."

The rest of the late-dinner-early-breakfast meal was spent with laughter and talking about other people. An hour after, you drop Holly at her apartment. Both have said good night and thank you.

Before leaving you made sure to wait until you see Holly walk inside the building. You smile at the thought of having your friend back and hoped that this time it will last. But you know that this brilliant Doctor was never been just a friend to you.

Holly looked back and sees Gail. You wave goodbye and reminded yourself that this was not a date; just old friends hanging out after not seeing each other, except this friend is also an ex-lover and for that you can't and will not stop yourself from hoping that someday, hopefully soon, fate will bring her back to you. So the wait continues. You will wait… patiently; loving her from a far… for now.

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note:

1\. Tell me what you think.

2\. Sorry took awhile to update work is crazy and life is life.

3\. Stay safe everyone.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Disclosure: All that is necessary.

If you can help me with my writing that would be awesome! :)

Again, English is not my first language, i apologize for any grammatical errors. Feel free to correct me.

And I do not know why the story lead me up to this part, I try to avoid sciency (if that is even a word?) stuff and the likes. I try my best to research but internet and wiki can only do so much for me ^-^ and I have never been to Canada. So yeah...

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Gail's POV

Gail felt it again, this weird, sucky feeling that starts from the pit of your stomach that lead to somewhat sour taste on our mouth. This has been going on and off for the past few days and it's becoming annoying.

It all started when they were having dinner with Anna at home. It should have been the day that she would ask her daughter that Anna will be moving in with them. It didn't happen because Sophie felt sick before dinner and asked herself to be excused. She know that her daughter over heard them talking about it while making dinner. It only happened because she did not heard Sophie coming down from her room. It amazes her knowing that this naughty little girl is one of the few people who can sneak up on her.

/

You're in deep thoughts when you see that Traci is making a move to startle you from the mirror across. "Don't even think about it Nash."

"How did you…?" with a sigh the other Detective grab a chair and sat near the blonde.

"Have you met my mother?" You squint your eye to make a point.

"What's bugging that sexy mind of yours?" Traci said with a grin on her face.

"Common, let's grab some food before we save the world." Gail deflect, grabbing her jacket and went towards the exit.

Traci is almost running to catch up. "And you say Dov is the nerd?" Giving Gail a pass to answer the gearing question, one of the things she learned about her friendship with the blonde is not to force it, the snarky cop will eventually talk when she is ready.

"Holly is the nerd and Dov is an idiot". You made sure that Dov who's seating just right across will hear you.

"F* you too Gail!" Dov bites back.

"A hot and sexy nerd". You know Traci is trying to get a reaction from you.

"I didn't know you have a thing for the dead Doctor Nash. Does my brother know?" You deviate.

"Oh Gail! Shut it!" Nash heard her phone rings and quickly answered it.

"Another body?" you quickly asked after seeing Traci ended the call.

"Let's go and coffee?" Your friend asked.

"Gerald will bring it there just text him the address." You started walking towards your car even after noticing thrilled expression on your friend's face. "Yes Traci, I'm good like that".

/

You both arrived at the residence of the murder victim. People are starting to pile up and you have seen a few reporters doing interview on the sides. You scanned the parameters set to prevent nosy neighbors and reporters. Satisfied from what you see, you then scanned the area for your coffee. You heard Nash calling and saw her standing at the front door of the house and you are just happy to see what she is holding.

Taking the coffee you were directed at the backyard of the house. Upon entering, you immediately noticed that the house is big enough for a family of four but it was confirmed by the responding officer that it's only the couple who lives there. The husband is dead and they already notified the wife whose flying back from Nevada, a supposed five day trip with her friends. You left your friend and went ahead.

You saw lab nerds shooting photos on almost every angle and collecting evidence. Your focus was distracted when the brunette Doctor came into view. Immediately your attention was switched to Holly.

You stand still and with just right enough distance to not to cause disturbance from Holly and her team of nerds. _You are not staring Gail. You are looking at the body of the victim and Holly happens to be standing beside it, blocking the view. Not staring at all. Yep! Not at all Peck._

The Doctor is in her element. You watch her confidently giving instructions to her team. They are all moving in different directions but with the same purpose. It's like watching a live orchestra and Holly as the Conductor. What a sight you thought.

You noticed Holly starts to look around and only stops when she saw you. She must have felt you creeping, so as a result you wave awkwardly. _Nice Gail, very nice. A wave? Really?!_ You tell yourself.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and Traci walked passed you. "If you are done eyeing the Doctor you can follow me. I think you'll appreciate it more up close." Your friend looked at you and wink. You made a mental note to get back to Traci on that one.

"What do we got here Doc?" Traci spoke first.

Holly stepped closer to the Detectives. "Nothing definite aside from the background check that you will or have already conducted. I can give you an analysis however that would be me guessing. I will send you the report as soon as I get the lab results and autopsy."

"We know the drill Doc." You interject. "Please make my life a bit easier today." Try to make it sound like a plea.

You both followed Holly walking towards the body. "Time of death is between 1 to 4 am. We found some shoe prints that most likely belonged to the perpetrator. I also see a possibility of torture, one indicator is the chair that was placed in front of the victim where the shoe prints was found together with a few bottles of beer." The brunette paused for a few second and must have noticed your questioning expression. As if reading your mind Holly continued. "I am not sure if this is related to the murder victim last week. We can compare the drug that was used, I believe that there is considering the neighbors did not heard any screams. Excuse me for a few minutes Detectives." Holly went back to her team.

You were left speechless. You know that the Doctor is good but Holly have grown even better. Her voice was steady when she spoke and didn't even have a lilt at the end to show a question at her own statement. If not for science she would have stated each as a fact. This thought made the hair on the back of your nape rise and sends shiver down to your spine.

"If I haven't said this before I'm going to say it now. The Doctor is good, she even got better. I think it's just the tip of the iceberg were seeing and only two years in San Francisco. I am glad she is a dead Doctor. If she would have been a cop, she would have made you Pecks run for your title."

"If you're not dating my brother I would have sworn you have a thing for Holly." You are beginning to feel annoyed not from what your friend said but the possibility of people being able to read your mind. Are you becoming predictable? Weak?

You examined the body that was left in a knelling position, hands tied behind his back. A log of wood was placed most likely by the killer to ensure that the victim will remain in a somewhat pleading position. The word "KILLER" was carved unto his chest peeling off the layers of his skin. This is definitely torture and the murderer who did this took pleasure of his pain.

"Detectives?" Your train of thoughts was disturbed by Holly. "I'm done here. I am going back to the lab and get things started. If you have any other questions, you know what to do."

"I have some questions regarding the drug that was used from our first victim." You went ahead and say and that made the Doctor stopped from walking away.

"Off course. You can come with me Detective Peck." The Doctor said without looking back.

You just gave Traci a nod and she understood. This is what you like about working with your friend; you understand each other without a need to say word sometime.

/

At Holly's Office

You talked to the brunette for about an hour however some of those you were left lying around at her amazingly comfortable couch, whenever the Doctor is called. Your eyes closed allowing yourself not to think for a minute enjoying the silence; you're in this position when you heard the door opened.

"Sleeping in the middle of your shift Doctor?" You heard a familiar voice.

You're beginning to sound like my mother Stewart." You answered without opening your eyes.

"I don't know if I will feel honored or scared".

You felt a hand tap your leg signaling you to move and that's when you decided to seat instead. "It depends on which side you're on."

"Then scared it is". Holly said as a matter of fact.

"For that I will see you at the Penny, tonight at seven." You stood up and started walking towards the door. "It's not a request nerd." You added before leaving.

/

Holly's POV

Finally, Gail is starting to call you names. It's a start. Then you felt nervous. Gail at the Penny means her friends will be there. The blonde might not admit it but they are like family to her. You thought about the possibility of them hating you for what happened few years ago. You shake yourself out of it and just focus on the things that you still need to do. You decided to just worry about it later.

You arrived at the Penny thirty minutes late and immediately spotted Gail and the gang laughing but you went to the bar instead. You will need alcohol induced courage. You ordered two shots of tequila and drink it one after the other, and before leaving you also ordered a glass of whisky and paid for a round of what Gail and her friends are drinking to be ordered when any of them is ready.

You're trying to buy time when you felt a hand on your shoulder, when you look at who the owner is you see Gail.

"Are you trying to get drunk before us Holly?"

"I.. uhm…" You can't find words to say.

"Don't answer that. Help me carry their drinks." Gail went to order and was about to pay.

"Don't worry it's already paid for."

"You don't have to do this you know." Gail is looking at you as if she is trying to read your mind.

"I know but a drink from an old-hopefully-still-friend would be nice." You answered trying to hold the nerves that slowly creeping out on you.

Gail looked at you with an intense graze, as if looking for the truth behind your words. Your only response is to return the same intensity, thanking the two tequila shots that you have drunk previously or else you wouldn't have the courage to look at her like this even for a second.

You notice Gail's expression soften and a smile formed on her lovely face. "Come on! I'd like to remove the smug smile on Dov's creepy face." You then felt the cop's hands on yours as she led you to the table.

You've exchanged some hi's and hello's and some few awkward moments with Steve, Dov and Chris but with Traci it feels like nothing have changed. Almost an hour and a half after a few swearing from Dov for continuously losing to you and Gail; the thought of them might reject you has finally been forgotten. It's that or you have had a few more drinks and the that Gail continuously leaving lingering touches on your shoulder and your hand a few seconds longer; if it has something to do with the alcohol running on your system, it still doesn't stop you from wanting more.

You are in this state when you see a woman hugged Gail from behind and kissed her on the lips as the blonde looked to face the woman you recognize at the restaurant having dinner with Gail the first time you saw her. You immediately went to look at Traci to avoid seeing the exchange of affection between the women who doesn't know still owns your heart and the one you heard she now loves. The universe can be cruel sometimes.

"Holly?" You heard Gail calling. You brace yourself for what's next before turning to see the blonde and her new brunette.

"Yeah?!" _That was too cheerful,_ you thought and immediately notice the woman's hand wrapped around Gail's waist.

"Anna, I would like you to meet Holly, Division 15 Forensic Pathologist and Holly I would you to meet my girlfriend Anna." You smile to one another and extended your arm to shake her hand and you noticed a slight grip from the other as you shake hands. _Does she know?_ You asked yourself.

After Anna greeted the rest of the people on your table with such ease she excused herself to get a drink.

You know now that you needed to leave or you won't be able to stand being this close to Gail with her being with somebody else. Knowing that she has a girlfriend is different from seeing them together… up close! You think of an excuse. Your eyes are beginning to roam around the bar, luckily they are busy chatting about work or something else that they did not notice or try not to ask; that your mind is elsewhere, thinking of a possibly escape.

"Holly "all brain" Stewart!" You heard a woman's voice called. There is only one person who calls you that and the thought made you smile. All the people at your table stopped talking and looked at the direction of the voice.

You see a tall with dark, short, wavy haired woman with the same sun kissed skin as you are not to mention easy on the eye, confidently walking towards you as soon as your eyes met. You noticed everyone stopped talking except for Gail and her _girlfriend_ Anna.

You stand up and greeted your friend with a hug. "Cameron Armstrong, what are you doing in my town?"

"I was hoping to see you." She said with a smile.

You squint your eyes at your friend knowing that there is more than what is implied. You heard someone coughed and that is when you realized you have not introduced Cameron to your other friends.

"Cameron, these are the officers and Detectives from Division 15. Detectives Traci Nash, Steven Peck and Gail Peck and her girlfriend Anna and Officers Dov Epstein and Chris Diaz. Everyone, Cameron." Your friend shakes everybody's hand and was informed by Anna that she is the only one who does not work as 15D.

Just after the introductions you excused yourself and went to the bar with Cameron thanking all the gods who listened to your plea.

"Just friends Hols? Really?" Cameron teases you that moment you sat at one of the stool at the bar. You chose a place with enough distance that you can still see Gail.

"Oh, don't act like your hurt Cameron. We started and parted as friends".

"Why did you go back? You got it all good in San Francisco. You talked about it almost nonstop when we were together." You're not surprise by this question. You've always known her not to beat around the bush. This is the kind of attitude that once draws you to this handsome looking woman and her 'lives at the moment and reach for the skies attitude'.

"I have my reasons." You were stealing glances at the blond when you answered.

"That many or just one in particular?"

You know your actions did not go unnoticed. "What really brings you here?" You attempt to divert the conversation.

"We got a possible hit on a case that I am leading. We are just here to follow through the protocol."

"We?" You had to ask.

"Just a few people I work with."

"Hmmm…" You simply answered as your mind is elsewhere. To be exact it's just a few tables away. Kissing somebody else lips and holding somebody else hand. "Let's go Cam." Not being able to stand it any longer. You grab Cameron's arm, she is now standing too close to you that you can feel the warmth of her breath in your cheeks. You would have accidentally end up kissing each other if one of you lost balance. You blushed at the incident but your eyes went looking for icy blue ones.

Gail must have witnessed what happened by the look on her face and before you could decipher, the blonde has looked away leaving you with a feeling of an empty heart and the alcohol you've consumed is not helping. You convinced yourself to walk away before you'll end up doing what you might regret in the morning and lose your chance at Gail in the process.

As soon as you stepped out of the bar, you close your eyes feeling the cool breeze on your face. Inhaling the maddening jealousy you felt and exhaling the promise that soon you will have "the talk" with the deadly blond.

You then felt a warm hand touches yours. "I'll take you home." Giving you a kind and knowing smile.

* * *

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Have a good day and stay safe.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and for leaving a comment. It's fun reading them as well. I wish I can hang out with you guys and talk about nonsense :)

Yes the story is slow; I initially did not intend it to be because I don't think I had it in me. But as a promise to myself I will work on finishing this story. First, I will need to start planning each chapter ^_^

Originally this new chapter is longer than the last one, I already finished writing it in paper and when I was reading it, I decided to change it and just a few days ago I change it again and again today, so here is the short end result.

This happens when Gail and Anna is at home after drinks at The Penny.

* * *

Chapter 6

Anna just got out of the shower when Gail entered the room. "Duncan already left?"

"Who? Oh Gerald? Yeah. I am glad he did not poison my child." Because of the last incident with the Doctor, Moore is more than willing to do anything to make it up to you and that includes babysitting Sophie. You went straight to the bathroom leaving the other woman dumbfounded.

Gail can't take her mind off the woman who almost kissed Holly. And the blonde can't stop thinking about the smile in Holly's lips when she saw the woman. It made her wonder how special this "friend" to the brunette to make her smile that way. These are the thoughts that keeps playing in circles around her head since after the Penny that she did not notice the watchful eye that followed her the moment that she got out of the shower and now getting dressed ready to sleep.

"Gail… ?" You bite your tongue to stop whatever words that will come out of your mouth for being startled away from your thoughts.

"When are you going to tell Sophie?"

You close your eyes tight and real quick to brace yourself from this conversation. _Why does it have to be tonight?_

"I'm going to talk to Sophie soon babe. I just haven't had a chance." You hoped that this is the end of the conversation.

"When Gail? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year? When?" _Someone up there is really not happy about my existence._ You thought.

"Do we really have to do this tonight? We're both tire and have a loooong day tomorrow". You hope to god that this approach will work.

You watch your girlfriend walk out of the bed towards her clothes and start to get dress. "Come on Anna; let's not make a big deal out of this please?"

"Let me answer that question for you Gail. Never. You will never be able to tell Sophie. You will try but that's not going to happen."

"I never thought you have such confidence in me". You are about to switch to fight mode.

"I can't do this Gail. I can't be your other love." Anna looks defeated.

Now you're confused. "Are you comparing yourself to my child?"

"No! God no! Are you that deep of in denial?" You felt a hint of hurt from the sound of Anna's voice and it caused a pinch in your heart knowing that somehow, you disappoint her.

"Not if you're talking in riddles". Your voice is low but stern.

"Holly"

Hearing your ex's name from your girlfriend is deafening. This is not how you wish for the night to end. "Anna I assure you…"

"Stop it Gail… please." You tried to soothe your girlfriend but the woman cut you even before you start. "Don't promise anything because I'll believe you, because that's the kind of person you are. I should have never gone to the Penny. I already said no when you asked me, but I wanted to see her. I wanted to see you and her. I wanted to see the woman that I have been hearing about for the past couple of years."

"Anna please… " You are about to walk towards your girlfriend but she stopped you. And you did. "Let me finish this or else I might not be able to or we will just end up hating each other." The brunette bites her lower lip to stop the tears from falling.

"You have fallen deep in love Gail, but not with me. I tried to make you… fall in love with me, but you have given your heart to somebody else few years ago and you never got it back. I'm two years late! And even if I met you first I think I will still loose you to Holly. Your laugh even sounded different with her around. God I must be stupid for saying all this. But I love you Gail and I want you to be happy and I deserve to be more than just a second best!"

"How can you say that? When you know every time I tell you I love you, you know I mean it. When you know every time I touch you and kiss you… you know I mean it". You put your arms around her neck and hug her tight. You want to say she's wrong, but how can you, if you're not even sure.

"I know Gail, but I want all of you. Not just the part of you that loves me". Anna removed herself from your embrace. "I thought I can, but after tonight, the way you looked at her…" All those years of training and you can't even decipher the look that your girlfriend is giving you. "… deny it all you can Gail but your eyes have deceived you. I want you to be happy Gail, even if it means I will have to break my own heart". Anna placed her hands on her face and breathes in deeply then she walks towards you and held your hands. "So I will just end this before we start giving each other excuses and while I still can".

/

The room felt empty and big and all you can hear is the sound of your heart. You don't know how long it's been since Anna walked out the door, that same door that you've been staring at when she left.

You didn't stop her. You know you can. But you know stopping her would be a lie and she deserve more than that.

* * *

I hope it's okay.

I have been thinking about Gail and Anna's break up. Then I remember what my friend and boss at that time told me. "Love also means letting go even if it hurts".

In this world I don't think that Gail will break up with Anna because she is loyal and it's really hard to hurt someone who did nothing but to understand and love you. It's just my opinion.

Stay safe everyone.


End file.
